A couple weeks ago, a sweet Mama (who I taught prenatal to way back when) asked about our kid’s sleep practices and if I would share what has helped us guide our kids to sleep. Of course I said: YES!
Let me say right off the bat that sleep time is not a walk in the park for our family the majority of the time. Do not be deceived! Between fears, teeth-brushing woes, and hunger, it’s most often a game of up and down and grunts, sighs and negotiations.
Now that our kids are older (4&6), we do have a bit more of a settled routine and we all know what to expect as things are changing with them a little less.
A few notes to know where i’m coming from:
One of us puts the kids to bed each night, and oftentimes it’s my partner. Fact is, the kids fall asleep faster with him! We have always either coslept with them (when smaller) or stayed with them until falling asleep.
The other person (often me) actually needs to leave the house for them to fall asleep easily. This is my opportunity for a walk where I read news articles (often anti-racism daily), scroll Instagram, enjoy a self-directed walking meditation, or just breathe. My partner often leaves the house when I’m putting the boys to sleep as well (our place is small).
We always do snacks before bed and it seems the boys often eat endlessly at this time!
Our kids go to bed early because this has worked for our family and it hasn’t changed since they were babies. We are usually in bed and reading around 6:30, and they’re asleep before 7:30. We still read to them at least one short book every night.
Aside from general pandemic anxiety, my oldest has also been having a lot of bedtime fears lately since we all watched a documentary on the Yeti back in March. Since this major upset, he has formulated his own short bedtime practice to help him stay centered and worry-free (for the mostpart). We did this more frequently when his fear was at it’s height, and now we only do it when he wants to.
Here it is! Our Bedtime Practice:
Affirmations: A few years ago, the boys and I made a series of affirmation words to remember each night. They know that they embody these qualities all the time, it’s just sometimes they may not feel or act with them. If they think up new ones we add to the list. (Inspiration for these goes to @joyoushealth.) We recite these each night with “I am” in front of them. (Pictured to the right: beautiful, smart, kind, safe, strong, good, connected, a shining light.)
Breathing: My son next likes to practice a few short flower/candle breaths where you breathe in the flowers, and blow out the candles. A great book to go with this is Zara’s Big Messy Day (That Turned Out Okay) by Rebekah Borucki.
Poem: Next he recites the poem from Zara’s Big Messy Bedtime (pictured to the left and copied with permission):
“One thing that’s not so great,
Another thing to celebrate.
One thing that has to be,
Another thing to comfort me.”
My son LOVES this poem and it helps him to keep perspective on his worries and gratitudes. You and your child will love to go through the poem and take the time to find one thing for each of the lines!Prayers: My son loves this part the most - I have always been someone who loves praying; talking to Source and sharing my heart. So, I’ve brought this into my relationship with my son and it can be a real source of comfort. My partner and I are going to try some pre-written prayers with the boys in the coming days, but usually mine are just freestyle, talking about whatever comes to my heart. If this is new to you but you think your child will find comfort in it - just try speaking from your heart honestly.
Bedtime can be a struggle these days for kids AND parents as stress and anxiety are high and we often meet our worries when the dark and quiet come. Remember your kids are just trying to get their needs met and as hard as this can feel - moving through their feelings with them is the best way to get them into a restful state faster.
Appleseed also has a sweet bedtime playlist on Spotify that you can incorporate into your child’s bedtime routine. And another post to come on rest-inducing yoga poses!
Remember the best thing we can do as parents is do what we can to take care of ourselves first. This pandemic has to end some day.
Love,
Megan